The confusing world of sexual orientations.
Happy pride month everyone. It does not matter whether you are part of LGBTQ+ community or just want to show your support. The world of sexual orientations is so confusing,so many words to describe ways we identify our self`s and experience the world around us. Every single human being should have the same rights to be,live and express our self´s in ways that feels right for us.
Growing up i always thought that i was straight. U know being interested in guys and stuff. But there always was this strange thing were i found anything related to sex kinda gross and awkward.
Every time there was sex-scene in movies or books i wanted to skip the whole thing and felt like i should not be watching or should give those characters some privacy to do their thing.
At first i thought “maybe it just takes me more time to grow up and get used to the idea of having sex” Well fast forward four years and here i am still feeling the same way.
I have never felt any sexual interest towards anyone no matter their gender. I have been in a relationship one time, but later realized that it was romantic attraction instead of sexual interest. People sometimes get these two things mixed up ,it is possible to find someone good looking with out never wanting to go to and have sex with that person. Best way to describe this is probably that i can find someone good looking, a man in my case, but there is no interest of doing anything else except cuddling. Kissing is also fine for me but anything other than that, no thanks! A Relationship for me is mostly about emotional connection.
What even is asexuality?
At this point i had no idea there was even a word for this strange feeling. Aka Asexual it´s described as follows” An asexual person (“ace”, for short) is simply someone who does not experience sexual attraction.” .
First person i heard talking about asexuality was my friend, but back then i thought “that can´t be me, because I`am in a relationship “,or was back then, not anymore. Because she had told me how she doesn't even want to be in a relationship at all. But then i learned how asexuality like any other sexual orientation is a spectrum.
“Asexual can also be an umbrella term that includes a wide spectrum of asexual sub-identities, such as demisexual, grey-A, queerplatonic, and many others. Asexual people may identify as cisgender, non-binary, transgender, or any other gender.”-webmd.com
One common misconception about asexuality i stumbled across is that identifying as asexual automatically means that you don´t want to be in a relationship. I mean if the person is aromatic as well then it is more common. My personal opinion about this is somewhere in between if i meet someone who shares same opinions about sex than i do and wants to enjoy other aspects of the relationship, then i could imagine myself dating someone.
But at the same time it´s fine for me to live by myself and have close friendships around me. Especially while knowing that dating while on asexual spectrum can be quite challenging considering that most people think about sex being a thing that keeps relationships together.
“It is common for asexual people to have romantic (but not sexual) attractions to others. They may identify as hetero-, homo-, bi-, or pan-romantic. Others are aromantic — that is, they feel no romantic attraction to other people.”
The thing that finally helped me put these pieces together and realize this is how i identify myself was after reading Loveless- By Alice Oseman. I suddenly felt so understood while reading a book, she has written out perfectly some of the things i had thought about over the years. It´s a beautiful story overall. And then i found out that she identifies as Asexual too, no wonder the book was so well written!
“it was all sinking in. I’d never had a crush on anyone. No boys, no girls, not a single person I had ever met. What did that mean?,Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone With new terms thrown at her — asexual, aromantic — Georgia is more uncertain about her feelings than ever.”
“But when her romance plan wreaks havoc amongst her friends, Georgia ends up in her own comedy of errors, and she starts to question why love seems so easy for other people but not for her.” -goodreads
Everybody is allowed to have their opinions about this topic. I am open to hearing all sides but please be respectful in the comments and give everyone space to express themselves in a way that feels right. ❤
In an ideal world we would simply be humans to each other, some being attracted to the opposite gender,to their own, or both,or multiple people or not to anyone. ❤
