Trying to fit in.
and find employment.
I have been dealing with some challenging emotions lately. Mostly sadness and shame. Sadness about not being able to fit in certain expectations coming from society. example of this would be working full time. There is this strange social construct where if someone is unemployed they are automatically some how lazy or otherwise less worthy. I would like to remind you all that you can never know what someones personal situation is and whether or not they have tried to get employed for a long time.
in my case i have certain special needs that cause me to need more support in a work environment. Part of me wants to be able to function as well as other people. This has been a process of letting go of the idea of working full time because that is not possible for me,Due to things like needing longer recovery time between work days. It is strange how there is no shame about being in therapy and needing help with mental health but when I need help in order to function in other aspects of my life it is so much more difficult to accept.
I will find my place eventually. It is difficult enough to find employment while functioning well in everyday life ,but when you are disabled it is even longer journey. Learning new things takes me more time and there is certain things i cant do due to my sensory sensitivities and motor skills.
I feel less worthy sometimes because of things that i have no control over thanks to this being genetic. Part of me has difficulty accepting that i am not able to fully function as “ normal adult” in all aspects of my life and there will always be the need for assistance in certain areas.
There is plenty of good things in my life but it can get overwhelming if we try to force our self`s in to fitting society`s standards. Right people will accept us as we are and offer the help we need on our journeys towards self acceptance.
I will start an internship soon and it is making me Feel exited. We will make sure that there is enough support available so trying new things feels safe. Every step is a step forward, Asking for help should not feel embarrassing but all emotions are okay and an important part of being human. Lets continue this journey together. Sending love towards anyone struggling to find their place in this universe. ❤